Meddle not in the Affairs of Krait Witches
by Weiila
Summary: An asura happens to meet a charr burdened with an incredibly dumb curse, and joins him on his quest to free himself from the wicked spell. But a curse that seems merely annoying in friendly company might not be so innocent in all situations.
1. Chapter 1

_Dedicated to the dungeoneering crew. You know who you are._

_Also TVTropes. Bless your millions of little hearts, you timesink.  
_

__Chapter 1, Fall-Forged Friends

If one discounted the ogres, the Branded, the devourers and other assorted nasties, today was a pleasant day in Blazeridge Steppes. Certainly, somewhere – multiple somewheres – there were people fighting for their lives, but at this one particular point in the middle of nowhere, there was no fighting yet.

There was only an asura scrambling up a tree.

A cool wind blew through the autumnal landscape, rustling the ever yellow and red leaves around Tivi as she worked her way upwards. It was easier now that she had gotten past the first part of the climb. Now there were more branches that even an asura could easily reach. She did not have to dig her claws into the bark to heave herself higher, but could actually plop down on a thick branch and enjoy the view.

Through the dancing leaves she could see the vast landscape dressed in warm oranges and rocky brown. Even the Brand looked beautiful at this distance, just a dark purple river floating past behind the rolling hills on the horizon.

She paused.

No, "rolling" was when it was all soft curves, wasn't it? This was more like heaving, with the smooth hills suddenly cut off in rough edges by rock. Or was there a better word than "heaving"? It didn't sound very nice. She considered it for a minute, then realized what she was doing. Rubbing her forehead, she sighed at her own incorrigible mind.

More than once in her life, Tivi had witnessed her teachers – and later superiors – sigh in exasperation and throw up their hands. The phrase "cannot see the equation for all the numbers" had haunted her since childhood. Normally people did not mean such a thing literally, but when it came to Tivi, it was heartfelt.

When doing alchemy, she ended up getting distracted by arranging the bottles by size and the color of the contents. When working on a golem, she would stop and consider how the shape of a foot or arm piece might be better designed. And so on and so forth.

"… up there?"

This behavior would not frustrate other asura if she had done these things for the sake of creating a better system or improve output. No, what drove them up the wall was because she did it for style. Those bottles were not arranged from most useful to least, or in an order based on the contents' pH value, or any such thing. Tivi arranged things according to what she thought looked the nicest.

"_You're not dreadful," _one ofher former, favorite teachers had commented once. _"You just incapable of sorting out the superfluous details from the significant particulars."_

Once she got out in the world, Tivi had learned that among norn and humans, she might have been considered artistic. Might being the key word, if she had been actually good enough to create anything that would be considered art. Sadly she was an asura and so had no training in such things – and even so, neither painting nor sculpting actually interested her.

But again, again, she had yet to find anybody who cared more about how a golem looked than how well it worked. Finding herself likewise unable to find a krewe where she fit in, she had just thrown up her own hands and decided to wander around until she figured out what to do with her life. There were so many travelers and would-be heroes running about these days that nobody back home even raised an eyebrow at this plan.

Nobody could accuse her of being easily distraught, at least. Case to point, her current situation. She might be hopelessly lost in the Blazeridge Steppes, but it sure was beautiful. Even this tree was neatly situated, near the edge of a small canyon. She had chosen it mostly because it stood on higher ground than other nearby trees, but… well, she could admit to herself that she liked the picturesque scene of that lone tree near the abyss.

"… don't see any…"

Even to her sensibilities, calling it an abyss was probably stretching it. It could not be that deep.

She was getting distracted again. Realizing this she shook herself out of her thoughts and grabbed a nearby, higher branch to keep her balance as she stood up and resumed her climb.

"Um…"

If she continued much further up than this, the branches would start to get thinner. Tivi set sight on a spot where the leaves opened up in front of a safely thick branch, where she would be able to get a better view and get her bearings straight. She made it over there and crawled as far out as she dared. Satisfied with her position she pulled out her crystal map reader and set it in the Y-shape where the branch split.

"… kidding me?"

She punched in the commands on the console panel, and the small, hexagon shaped device came to life with a series of soft beeps. The map of what was supposedly the closest area appeared on it in a flash of blue. Tivi narrowed her eyes at it, then looked up and around to check for landmarks. She had already suspected that the built in pedometer was malfunctioning, and this confirmed it. But now she could adjust the map to her current whereabouts, and then climb down, make repairs and…

… and that was a strange orange spot far below, standing out against the dark rock. Tivi glanced away from the console to see what it was, expecting to see a patch of grass growing on the cliff side or something.

As soon as she looked, she realized that she had scooted out on a branch reaching out over the canyon. It took a second for her eyes to refocus, longer than usual because the surprising height sent her heart right up into her trachea – a silly figure of speech, that, the heart didn't really have a way up th…

A voice in the back of her head hollered at her that something very important was going on, and she needed to focus for once. She blinked, and caught up on the fact that the spot that had caught her eye was actually a charr, or rather what could be seen of his fur between all his leather armor.

He stared up at her as if between the two of them, she was the one of inferior intelligence.

Tivi found this look very rude, until her mind – working on its own for survival's sake, apparently – broadened its view and informed her that there were other things to take note of. Such as the fact that the charr was actually standing inside a crude but tall enclosure of iron.

More importantly, outside of that enclosure were about a dozen humans, giving her the same look as the charr.

Tivi might not be that good at grasping the bigger picture, but she was not stupid. A group of humans – and only humans – in this area, wearing simple armor without an emblem in sight, who kept a charr prisoner…

Separatists.

With a yelp Tivi recoiled, forgetting where she was. The branch was not nearly wide enough to save her from that kind of foolishness, and she fell.

The landscape blurred around her and yet everything seemed to slow down, stretching out in an excruciating journey toward nothing. Her life flared past, family and friends and frustrations and good times and…

With a rough jolt and swinging sensation her world disappeared in a warm darkness, and she heard a grunt. She gasped in shock, and instantly her nose filled with a lovely scent her dazed brain could not quite process. Death was, apparently, weird.

"Oi."

She pried an eye open and gazed up to find the charr's face inches from her own. He had caught her fall, saving her from becoming an asura pancake at his feet.

His fur had a deep orange color cut through with dark stripes, surely serving him well if he needed to conceal himself in this fire-colored land. Yellow golden eyes set low beneath thick brows and dark horns stretching back and what nicely sharp teeth…

… and for a split second Tivi had the weirdest mental image of him kissing her. Before the shock of that could vault into horror, the charr dropped her like an overheated platinum alloy. She bounced on the ground, hearing the separatists erupt into roars of laughter. The sound droned in her ears as if she had heard it through water.

Her heart hammered in her chest from the last ten second's conga line of shocks, and she needed a few moments to calm down. The ground felt wonderful beneath her. She dug her fingers into the grass, ignoring the logic of it all and just glad to feel steady and safe.

Alright, "safe" was definitely not cutting it in any sense of the word.

One crisis at a time, please.

Right. On the ground. Not dead. Not hurt – apart from aching, despite the save that had not been a soft landing, but nothing broken at least. She took in a deep breath to get a hold of herself. That wonderful smell invaded her nostrils once again, making her feel dizzy all again. Now she was not in a state of near-death panic, however, and could attempt to analyze it. There was a sting to it, overlapped by sweetness that only just managed to not be sickening.

Despite her current situation, it mystified her – not only by how it made her feel, but there was no reason there should be any of _that_ out here. She sniffed again, to make sure. Yes, it had to be that. It reminded her of that cozy dark corner of the lab, and Fizzer starting to stutter as the empty test tubes slipped out of his hands, and herself blushing.

"My ears, who would be preparing––" she started.

"I don't want to hear it!" the charr snapped.

"–– Phenidone out here?" Tivi looked around and up at the charr. "What?"

He stared back. In the background, the separatists were still having fits of chuckles. They probably did not have much to laugh about usually.

"Pheno–– what? Wait, no!" The charr shook his big furry head and threw up his hands. "Whatever it is, I don't want to know!"

Tivi had gone through a whole rollercoaster of unpleasant emotions in a very short time, and even her cheerful disposition had its limits.

"What are you on about?" she snapped, climbing to her feet and bending her neck back to glare up at him in a huff. She might only reach a bit higher than his knees, but asura had long since learned not to let being shorter than as good as everything else get to them. And he wasn't being threatening. Just very strange.

And how nicely his horns lined up with all four of his ears to form a logical whole…

Tivi's annoyance completely derailed when that runoff thought zipped away and returned with what she had briefly imagined when the charr had held her in his arms.

Her eyes shot wide open in terror and she grasped her head, desperately trying to ward off the insanity. Where did those thoughts come from? He was a charr! Loud and brash and stupid and equipped with a mouth so big he could bite off her head!

She heard a deep, growling sigh.

"Hold your breath and walk away," the charr said. He sounded tired all of a sudden. "It helps."

Tivi was panicky, but still lucid enough, to be pliant to just about any suggestion. Without a second thought she turned around and walked as far away as the cage allowed. It wasn't far, but she did not stop until her nose touched the slanting iron bars. Then, very carefully she released the breath she had held and sucked in a new.

She could not feel that smell anymore. There was only the scent of grass and rusty iron. Slowly her head cleared of all thoughts of the charr's ears and soft looking fur, leaving only confusion and disgust. She grimaced, feeling like she needed a bath – and thoroughly glad nobody had any idea what had passed through her mind.

But what by Primordus' fangs had that been?

"Hey you." A separatist stepped into her sight on the other side of the bars, so suddenly that she almost fell backwards.

Oh right. Imprisoned by separatists.

"Yes?" she said, her voice a lot more high pitched than usual. Today was really not developing well for her.

"That was fun and all," he said in an airy tone, lifting his hand and dropping it with the pointing finger loosely stretched out to indicate her fall. Behind him, the camp erupted in snickers again. "But maybe you should give us a reason to not kill you, you little rat." Saying so, he put his hand on the gun by his belt.

Tivi had seen her life pass by, been embarrassed, utterly confused, and finally shaken up by some kind of mind altering whatever-it-had-been. Under normal circumstances she would have been rattled by being trapped and threatened. But the sneer on the man's face was the final spark to lit the volatile phlebotinum.

"Shove it!" she shrieked and leaped into the air. As she came down, she slammed her hands into the ground as hard as she could, banging all her inner turmoil into one liberating explosion.

Like everything else, Tivi was not that great with magic. However, she had probably never once in her life been so upset. She'd just wanted to make the smug snake lose his smirk. Instead she sent him and several people behind him flying, and uprooted part of the cage. Bars that had been dug three feet into the earth shot up and toppled over with a series of deafening clangs.

With her breath stuck in her throat Tivi took in the momentarily stunned looks on the still standing separatists' faces, and knew full well that there were still too many of them upright. Within a second they'd have shot her dead.

Several dark orbs sailed over her head and crashed amongst the separatists' feet. As soon as the projectiles hit anything they exploded, filling the air with a thick, stinging smoke. The separatists disappeared behind the misty curtain, stumbling about coughing and shouting. A few random shots were fired, before somebody yelled to not shoot blindly.

A pair of big hands grabbed Tivi under her armpits and hoisted her upwards. Next thing she knew her whole body was painfully bouncing against the charr's back as he ran, leaping past the half blind separatists trying to stop the escape. On all fours he rushed into the narrow natural corridor leading out of the crevasse and into the open field. Tivi grit her teeth and held on to the edge of his armor for dear life, deciding not to complain about being uncomfortable just yet. Priorities.

At least she thought she had priorities until the smell of chemicals invaded her senses once again. Chemicals and something more. Yes, something that made that scent even better. That of Fizzer.

The charr jumped over a rock, landing hard and giving Tivi an extra hard jolt. Considering all, it was merciful. It slapped her back into reality and she blinked, coming back to here and now. Forcing herself to focus she looked around, spying for the separatists. A couple of them appeared from the crevasse, but wiping their eyes and staggering it was obvious that they would not be able to catch up or hit the fleeing target.

It appeared that the improvised escape was a successful, if unintentional experiment.

* * *

The charr eventually slowed down when the two of them had gotten far enough away from the camp to at least feel safe from the separatists. He kept running, however, and did not care for Tivi's inevitable objections until he found shelter by a cliff face. Even then he stopped with tense muscles, ready to rush off again. Tivi grumbled while her mode of transport sniffed the air and flicked his ears this and that way.

Finally satisfied with the place's safety, he shook Tivi off and walked away to sit down in the shadow, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

"Really, that was most inconsiderate," Tivi muttered as she picked herself up and brushed off her deep green pants. "You could at least show a little gratitude."

"We're even," he grunted, voice even more hoarse than before.

She had to admit that, but she still did not care for his rough treatment of her. With a huff she plopped down. They were silent for a little while.

"Got any water?" he finally said, slowly as if he had to pry the words from his tongue.

Tivi thought about it for a moment. Well, he had saved her life, and that he was rude just gave her a reason to show she was better than him. She unhooked her flask from her belt and tossed it over. His hands were too big, and he had trouble with the cork. After a second he tore it off, breaking the flask in the process. Ignoring Tivi's shout of "Hey!" he emptied the flask in two gulps. It was hardly more than a mouthful for him.

Her annoyance stumbled, however, when she watched him stick out his tongue and shake the flask hard to get the last drops out. Even if he tried to do it with some dignity, he could not hide how thirsty he was.

"How long were you in there?" Tivi asked.

"Last night," he said and tossed the empty flask back. She did not even bother to try catching it, and it bounced into the grass by her feet. "They wanted to get information out of me."

"Oh." She watched his hunched form, shaking a little from the long run and lack of nourishment. It was no difficult guess that he had probably not been fed by the separatists. Now that she had time and peace of mind to look closer, she noticed the blood stains and rips on his armor. Not all of that blood looked like it had come from his enemies. They had been working to "soften" him up. The only reason he still had his armor on had to be that they had been waiting for him to weaken from hunger and thirst, so that he'd be easier to beat up.

Tivi hesitated only for a moment before reaching for her backpack.

"I, um, I have some beef jerky."

His ears flicked up at the word "beef", but the sideways glance he gave her was guarded. Being an asura, Tivi very well knew stubborn pride when she saw it. Asking for water had sounded like it physically hurt him.

"Well, you could have left me back there," she said to stop him from starting up about not needing pity. With that she hauled a pack of jerky out of her bag and threw it over.

In the next moment she was very glad that she had tossed it instead of handing it over. From the way he tore apart the anti-bacteria wrapping and scarfed down the dried meat, he might have taken off her hands had they been too close. Feeling that it was in her best interest to not leave him too hungry, Tivi fished out a second pack and chucked it within the charr's reach as well. It was gone in five seconds.

Licking his claws in a most unsettling manner but thankfully not looking at her while doing so, the charr sat back and breathed a loud sigh of relief. Tivi decided it was safe to not give him anymore food – which was good, because she wasn't sure how far it was to the next place to get any more rations, and it was best to save what she had left.

Speaking of finding a place to get rations, it might be a good idea to not go looking for that alone. She did not feel nearly as at ease as she had just an hour ago. Until now, she had done pretty well on her own, but the beauty of the landscape suddenly seemed a lot more treacherous than before.

But on the other hand, now she had somebody around who should know the area better than she did. Unless, of course, he decided to leave her behind now that he was fed. She wasn't sure she could really trust any random charr. Well, only one way to find out.

"I'm Tivi, by the way," she said, deciding to be tactical about gauging his continued helpfulness.

He looked up and seemed to hesitate, weighing her with his gaze. She huffed at this and folded her arms.

"Xander Dredgerip," he said after a moment.

Tivi thought about that.

"I like that surname," she said, smiling a little for the first time.

He did not smile, but he sounded a bit less gruff than before when he answered:

"Yeah, we hear that a lot."

Tivi thought that over for a second.

"So your warband is called…?"

"Dredge death."

Tivi bit the inside of her cheek to not laugh out loud. She did not like dredge by any stretch, but that name sounded like something a child would think up. A very small, non-asura child.

"Oh, I thought it was usually just one word, like the Fierce, or Rip warband," she managed without snickering.

"Our legionnaire really, really hates them. And it couldn't be called just Dredge," Xander said, calmly and matter-of-factly.

"Yes," Tivi had to admit, though still struggling to keep from laughing. "I suppose that's true."

She cleared her throat and pulled herself together.

"So then," she said and looked around. "We can't stay here. Is your warband nearby?"

His ears drooped, and he got to his feet to turn away in an obvious attempt to hide that.

"I can't go back to them," he said in a low, grumbling voice.

"You're on a mission?" Tivi asked, jogging up to him in case he was going to take off.

"Something like that," he responded, but even before he had finished Tivi stopped dead just a couple of feet away in surprise.

The smell of Fizzer and chemicals invaded her nose once again, reaching deep into her subconscious and pulling up memories that–– that––

Hang on a second.

"It's you!" she exclaimed, pointing at him.

He stared at her for a second, then his shoulders sagged even more than usual and he looked away with a sigh.

"Yeah," he grumbled. Whatever it was, he was obviously used to it.

"How can you––" Tivi started, but Xander raised both his hands to stop her again.

"Whatever you think I smell like, don't tell me more." He turned away and growled. "You'll regret it."

"But… what is it?" Tivi asked, frowning.

He shook his head and started to walk off.

"Don't help trackers," he absently said and waved over his shoulder. "Pick up that flask."

"Hey!" Tivi shouted, although she did rush back to grab the broken flask and cork. She then rushed after him, jogging to keep up with his long, quick strides. What strong legs he had, nice even though they were too… she shook her head hard. "What are you, a mesmer who can't control your power?"

He scoffed at that.

"Do I look like a weakling?" he said.

Tivi was too distracted to catch on to that that insult included her as well, being an elementalist. She was completely wrapped up in wanting to know what was going on.

"If you don't tell me, I swear I'll follow you around and bother you until you tell me," she said, glaring up at him. "I warn you, I am genetically programmed to never give up on solving an unexplained occurrence."

They traded death glares for several seconds until Xander growled and rolled his eyes.

"Fine!" he snapped. "It's a curse."

Tivi blinked.

"A curse that makes you smell like––"

"Don't tell me! Kalla's claws…" He grunted. "Look, will you shut up if I tell you?"

Tivi had to consider the possibilities for a moment.

"Depends," she finally said, honestly.

Xander sighed the sigh of one who knows things aren't about to get any better anytime soon.

* * *

_Don't worry, this is not a romance. At least not between those two.  
_

_Just shenanigans._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two, Trouble in the Backstory Flashback

_Three months ago…_

Xander slipped behind a thick gathering of sea weed and glanced over his shoulder to check that the others were following and accounted for. The aqua breather's edges dug into his muzzle and he hated the murky smell that filled his nose and mouth for each breath, but orders were orders. And their orders were, in the words of legionnaire Kova Dredgekiller:

"There ain't nothing tougher than fighting underwater. Let's practice."

The whole thing came about because they had a window of no orders from the upper management for the next couple of weeks, due to finishing their last mission much earlier than expected. Later, they would go to the Blazeridge Steppes, but the warband suddenly had a rare opportunity to do whatever they wanted. Or the legionnaire wanted, rather.

In other words, this counted as vacation for charr.

Of course they all had basic training for fighting underwater, but there weren't any krait in charr lands. It would never be so, either, if the charr had anything to say about it, but Kova's outlook on everything was that it was best to be prepared.

She had struck some kind of deal to let them keep that "free time", so they could go kill things in new ways. She'd said some crap about aiding in the diplomatic efforts to keep the charr and human peace going smoothly.

Bonus points for getting to show humans how it was done on their own home shores. Just getting to Viathan Lake had involved a lot of dead centaurs. And now it was time to see how quick they could kill arrogant snake things.

Kova motioned at Xander from further below and he used the rock beneath him to shove downwards, kicking towards her. The sunlight hardly reached this far down, but his eyes were quickly getting used to it.

A strange, ghostly light appeared within the darkness below, then another and another. So weak they were, that they had not been visible before. Xander exchanged a look with Ranvia. The expression in her eyes were as unamused as he felt. That light felt too similar to things they had enough of back home.

But it was not ghosts, at least it did not appear as such as they got even closer. Soon they saw that the lights flared out from the tip of strange, sharp rocks rising out of the seabed and an underwater mountain. Chains had been coiled around the length of the rocks, as some primal and strange adornment.

Kova looked around. There was no hesitance in her gaze, but a flash of unease passed. Those things looked a little too much like horns, and the way the seabed rose could have been a monstrous head.

The stories of the mountain that awakened as Kralkatorrik felt a little too close for a moment. However, a few more kicks forwards and a gaping cave opening could be seen in the mountain side. That was one dead dragon, if it had ever been.

Long shapes moved about the stone horns with elegant, flowing motions, slipping in and out of sight in the darkness.

Kova lead her warband closer slowly and carefully, moving between rocks and concealing seaweed. Xander waited behind cover and watched as a patrolling krait got closer to where their legionnaire waited to strike. He felt a series of light pushes of moving water and glanced around to see Ranvia drift up beside him. They exchanged quick nods and looked back towards the incoming action.

The krait had no idea what hit it before Kova ran its chest through with her spear. In one smooth motion she pulled the trashing krait in, but she did not manage to muffle its dying shriek in time.

The sound cut through the water even as Xander and Ranvia shot forwards to help Kova with the thrashing body. The dying krait managed to put up a good fight despite its fading strength, and both its and charr blood spread like puffs of red smoke through the water.

Other krait had heard the shriek and came rushing, but by that time the rest of the warband had caught up. Blood flooded into the water from both sides in a chaotic maelstrom of bodies, claws and steel tips.

Xander was just raising his harpoon to deliver a finishing blow to a krait who was already bleeding from a stab in its thick neck, when something grabbed his leg. He kicked blindly, stabbed the krait in the chest and then looked around.

He almost wished he hadn't. A large humanoid hand with grey skin and cracked nails clung to him – and only a hand, because the rotten flesh ended by the wrist in a boiling mess of necromantic energies. Another hand shot out from the cave below and headed straight for him.

Snarling, Xander stabbed at the first hand, trying to avoid the second, but it was too quick. It swept up and raked at a tear in his leather armor where another krait had gotten him, digging its nails into his bleeding flesh.

Immediately he felt himself starting to go numb. With all his might he struggled, but the second hand latched onto his arm. He felt the harpoon slip out of his grip as the two hands began to pull him deeper.

"Xander? Hey!"

It was Ranvia's voice, odd and distant through the water. He hardly heard it. It drifted away, like everything else, as the darkness closed over his eyes and the disembodied hands pulled him deeper into the cold.

He thought he heard the sound of rocks crashing down, the sound strangely hollow and dull.

The world was strange lights and shadows. Not for too long though, because the poison did not seem to work for long and had to contend with his charr survival instincts. He came to with a roar, lost and confused and furious. The first two only lasted for a second.

There seemed to be several shipwrecks in the murky darkness. In a flash he realized that those were krait buildings, haphazardly put together with broken planks and whatever scraps the krait might have gotten their grubby hands on. Long shadows slipped about the ruins, staying at a reverent distance.

Cages dangled from chains like ominous amulets by the buildings' outcrops, many of them containing mutilated skeletons. In others huddled terrified quaggans and hylek, trying to flatten their round bodies against the bars to get as far away from everything as possible.

He must be inside the cave, but from the corner of his eye he saw that the entrance had been sealed by a rockslide.

All that was taken in by Xander's brain in the moment it jolted awake.

In the next moment he became acutely aware of that he was sinking towards the bottom of the cave, because he could not move. A snake tail had wrapped itself around his legs and pressed his arms against his sides, squeezing painfully when he started to struggle. The bad end of the tail swept into sight – a grinning female krait, wearing a necklace and head ornaments made of the bones from many different creatures' fingers.

"Oh yes," she cooed in a shrill, hissing voice, grin stretching across her entire face as she raised her hands and bent her claw-tipped fingers. "You must have a pretty, pretty skull beneath all that disgusting fur."

In the last moment Xander's arm came free and he blindly lashed out, knocking the krait's hands aside. A second sweep caught across her chest, tearing scales and flesh apart. She shrieked and twisted – and he howled, feeling his bones creak as the pain made the witch constrict her tail's grip of him.

He could not breathe. There was no room for his chest to expand. Black spots danced before his eyes and for a moment he thought he'd go under.

With all his remaining strength he dug his claws into the snake tail. The scales were thick as leather, but he squeezed with the desperate might of a dying charr and the natural armor gave in. His claws drove into the flesh beneath, and suddenly he was free.

He sucked in a breath, too wet and moist through the aqua breather. The world spun, he struggled to breathe quick enough, to find his bearings. The writhing krait witch was a serpentine shadow through the mist filling his oxygen deprived sight. He kicked away, trying to get some distance for one more precious second. Had to find balance, had to recover.

The witch or priestess, whatever she was, she had guards however. And now they were as angry as she was. Half a dozen krait shot out of the shadows of the buildings, spears and daggers held at their sides to not slow them down as they approached the kill. Xander backed, trying to get his back to the wall – a bad position, but at least they would not be able to attack him from behind.

There was a series of hard thumps and violent crackle of magic. Then rocks tumbled aside under the furious onslaught of his warband breaking through the rockslide sealing the entrance. They swept up around him, meeting the attacking krait halfway and giving Xander a chance to recover.

As soon as he had his bearings straight he shot downwards, aiming straight for the krait witch. She pressed a hand against her bleeding chest, slit eyes misty with blood loss. But she saw him coming with murder in his gaze, and raised her hand with a defiant hiss.

"I curse you with shame and terror––!"

If there was more, she did not have a chance to finish it. He slashed her throat open with his bare claws. Even as her body relaxed into death, though, a black bolt shot from her hand and hit him right in the abdomen. He recoiled, but when he felt no pain he immediately dismissed it as a failed spell.

Looking up, he saw the rest of his warband finishing off the last krait.

Victorious, the charr scouted out the cave to make sure there were no more snake creatures hiding, then freed the prisoners. The frantic gratitude followed them all the way to the shore.

Xander stood up straight as soon as he could stand up with his head above the water, and pried off his aqua breather. With great relief he took in a deep, dry breath. All around him the others did the same thing even as they waded towards land.

"A job well done," Kova said with satisfaction as they stood with wet sand between their claws. She looked all of them over. "You make me proud, team."

They were wet, cold and smarting from minor to bigger wounds, but the mission had been a complete success. Laughing and discussing what they would drink in celebration, the warband relaxed and started towards higher ground just in case the krait would launch a counter attack – in typical charr fashion always planning for another battle.

And then somebody said the three little words that Xander would very soon learn to hate.

"What's that smell?"

One by one they came to a halt and sniffed at the air.

"What the…" Sharu sniffed at the air and stepped closer to Xander, who leaned back and stared at the other male as Sharu invaded his personal space, sniffing. "It's you! You smell like hot wax."

"What?" Xander gaped.

"Did you hit your head?" Rovar came closer and breathed deeply through his nose. "All I smell is harpy guts and grease."

The others closed in, curious and confused, despite Xander's increasing protests. Most of them had wildly different ideas about the smell – something most of them would dearly regret saying out loud once the realization hit.

"What are you all on about?" Kova said as she sniffed, looking annoyed. "That's definitely apple blooms."

"I don't notice anything different," Ranvia commented. She watched all of them as if they had gone crazy.

"You know…" Burdec said, slowly and sniffing the air a little too close to Xander, who growled and batted at him to make him back off. Burdec tensed, looking ready to spring as if he had heard a mine click nearby. Instincts told him that he was on to something. Something bad. "I think you smell like Zori."

A numb silence settled. Zori's last two cubs had been sired by Burdec. She had been forced to stay in the Iron Citadel due to a leg injury – but her injury was not the point. It was the fact that Xander smelled like her.

One by one, the soldier's face twisted with horror as they made the connection to what Burdec had said, and what they themselves had admitted.

* * *

Tivi needed a little while to process the story. Then she thought about it some more.

Then she blushed deep black.

"S-so you're saying you smell like, like…"

"Something that makes you _really_ happy," Xander said, uttering the ridiculous phrase as if proclaiming a death sentence. He glared at her. "I told you I didn't want to know what you smelled."

"Wait. Grease and harpy…?" Tivi had to stop for a moment to fight her gag reflex.

"I thought Kova would rip my head off when we figured out what it was," Xander said.

"But…" Tivi ran as fast as she could to catch up with him, then continued to jog alongside him. "That sounds more like an inconvenience than a curse."

"Oh yeah?" Xander scoffed. "How can anyone fight when I keep distracting them? How can I sneak when everything smells me and wants to see where it's coming from?" His voice grew more bitter for every word. "We tried to find a use for it in the field…"

He trailed off and shook his head in disgust, saying nothing more about that.

"I have to find a cure. If not, I can't go back," he said.

Tivi could swear she saw him shudder. She looked up at his closed eyes and lowered head, wishing she could reach up and stroke his fur to comfort–– gah!

"So, uhm," she said, clearing her throat and staring with all her might at the ground in front of her. "What do you know about it?"

There was a pause.

"What, think you can help?" he asked, and the note of hope in his voice made her heart skip a beat. Then she almost gagged again.

"I don't know. We can try," Tivi said through clenched teeth.

"I don't know much. It seems to get worse over time."

"Yeah, I noticed…"

The muttered comment drew a mix of a growl and a sigh from Xander, and Tivi dared a glance up to see him hold a huge hand over his eyes. No, he was probably as anti-amused about having an asura grow an unwilling attraction to him, as she was having it cultivated in her mind.

Wait a moment, was information the only reason the separatists had kept him alive, or had they been unwilling to kill him?

The thought was so bizarre that Tivi didn't know whether to be horrified or laugh. The separatists would certainly have been appalled if they had realized it. And then they would have hacked Xander to pieces.

Dropping his arm, Xander continued:

"The smell is obvious, but holding your nose doesn't help."

"Alright, that indicates that the enchantment enters the victim's body through inhalation," Tivi said.

"Even we could figure that one out," Xander replied, sounding annoyed at her obviously assuming that they hadn't. Tivi wasn't bothered. That was a natural reaction for most other races towards asura, in her (entire race's) view.

"Fine, fine," she calmly said. "What else?"

"Mesmers are immune to it." He motioned ahead of them, towards the west. "The only idea I had was to go to the Black Citadel and find a strong enough mesmer who can help. I'll go to Divinity's Reach if I have to." He did not sound very happy about that idea, though.

Tivi was hardly listening at that point, though, her brain whirring with theories. It was certainly a very embarrassing curse. Weird, though. Why would a krait witch do something like that? Even if it had driven him from his warband, if he just stayed with charr, what was the harm in being attracti…?

Apart from the obvious, of course – that even somebody who didn't want to be, and Xander didn't want to be, was attracted to him against their will. She was definitely not pleased with catching herself thinking about his soft fur and intense golden eyes and…

She groaned and scratched pale lines into her cheeks with her claws.

"It's driving you crazy already," Xander darkly said.

"Nonsense! I have a stronger mind than this," she protested. But what if it was even worse for scatterbrained people like her? Tivi shook her head to clear it and looked around, spotting a gleam of water in a distance. Cooling her head off sounded like a very good plan. Besides, Xander had to still be thirsty.

She had no time to suggest it, he was already changing direction to head towards the small brook.

"Think you can handle it for a few hours?" Xander asked over his shoulder, thick brows low and his voice even lower. "It's not too far to that Priory camp near Deserter's Flats. I'll go on alone from there."

"What?" Tivi huffed. "Giving up already?"

He spun around and snarled, but she put her hands on her hips and glared right back.

"I'm not giving up!" Xander growled. "But I'm not going to drag a lovesick midget around!"

"So you drop the first chance at a solution after two minutes?" Tivi retorted.

Xander scoffed at her and folded his arms.

"Uh-huh. So," he said, raising his chin so that he could really, _really_ look down on her. "What are you going to do about it?"

She could – under protest – grit her teeth an accept that tone from other asura, because they were probably more effective at, well, being asura than she was. But there was no way she would take this from an overgrown cat stuffed with enchanted pheromones. Especially not since this was the weirdest thing she'd ever encountered. She was not going to let it slink away so easily.

"I can take samples to test the level of enhanced chemicals being released from your body, for a start," she said. She threw up a finger in a thoughtful gesture. "We have already concluded that the effect is at least partially based on setting off positive reactions through sensory impulses, through which it reaches the victim's nervous system and manipulates the mind to suit the curse's intentions. Oh! But on the other hand it might be entirely psychological, a sort of involuntary mind control influencing…"

She rambled on, making up a few new words along the way to be on the safe side. More than once she lost her train of thought and veered off in another direction, but Xander probably did not even follow well enough to notice. His disdainful glare faded into a more and more blank stare. After a while he turned around and wandered the last little ways over to the brook, where he hunched down to drink and splash ice cold water into his protruding face.

Still rambling on Tivi trotted over and gave him a big, cheerful smile full of sharp teeth as he sent her an weary look.

"… and that is my conclusion based on our current information," she finished off. She plopped down and cupped her hands into the water. "Oh my, that gave me a thirst!" After slurping up a few gulps of water, she looked at Xander again. He had not moved an inch. "So what do you think?"

He blinked.

"Uhm." His head dropped. "Okay?"

"Excellent!"

Operation _Confuse Into Submission_, mission accomplished. It actually was a great feeling to be the smartest one in present company. Tivi took in a deep, proud breath. Then she yelped and scrambled away when the accursed smell slammed her with a mental image of Xander gazing at her with a warm look in his eyes, reaching out his big soft _clawed huge frightening murderous breath-smelling-like-his-last-meal-breath CHARR_!

She dunked her head into the ice cold water and held it there until her lungs burned. With a gasp she pulled out, tossing her head back and shaking it so hard her dripping pigtails slapped against her face. Still hyperventilating, she rubbed the water from her eyes and glared a warning to Xander, daring him to make her set off another rambling theory lesson.

"Watch out for the bramble," he said in a flat tone.

"What bra-ow!" Tivi turned her head only to have a sharp twig dig into her cheek. Today was a day that just kept piling on the misery. Grumbling she got up and shuffled away from the small, thick bush, eying it murderously. It was so thick and twisted it was impossible to see the ground past the branches, or even very far inside of it.

It might have redeemed itself if it had had the decency to provide some berries. Tivi could use the vitamins after all the stress. Unfortunately the bush did not even sport any flowers.

But burning it would feel very satisfying indeed. Oh yes it would.

She had hardly even finished the thought before a fire ball formed in her hand, casting an intense light across Tivi's mightily annoyed features. The heat made the nearby grass wither, but all she felt was a breezy tickle.

"Smoke is bad," Xander said, as if speaking about the weather.

Tivi looked at him, at the bush, at the intense flame in her hand, and back again. With a sigh she clenched her fist, and the fireball went up in a soft _poof_. True, sending up a signal to Separatists and everything else in the area was not a good idea. Fine. It was a very disappointing logic, though.

"Right." She held her hand over her nose and mouth and took a deep breath. It did not completely protect her from the scent of Fizzer and his experiments, but she noticed that it helped a little bit. The smell was not so overpowering, at least. "Right… uhm, we should get going. The sooner we get to a safe place, the sooner I can start running a diagnosis of you."

She suddenly remembered that she had lost her map reader back at tree above the Separatist camp, and had to sternly tell herself to focus on what was important. At least, she was not alone anymore.

"How far to that Priory camp?" she asked.

"In a straight line, about a day's walk," Xander said. "But we're taking a longer way. There were grawl nearby last time I heard." A pained look flashed by in his eyes.

Tivi instinctively decided she did not want to know. She did not even want to think about what that might mean. Nope. Not thinking, not thinking, not…

"Excuse me?" a female voice said.

With a yelp – she was yelping more today than she had in her entire life – Tivi leaped over to Xander's side, clawing for the scepter at her belt. He had already produced a pair of daggers the size of both of Tivi's arms put together. Where he had hidden those she had no idea.

"Who's there?" he growled. Tivi absently wondered if he was extra angry for not having noticed anyone creeping up on them. But if that was the case, it turned out he did not need to be annoyed about that. He could be annoyed about not having seen through a camouflage.

The bramble which Tivi had been seconds from setting on fire opened up, and a sylvari rose from it. She gave the mismatched pair a friendly smile and then stretched, yawning. Her armor was of the typical sylvari fare, made up of huge leaves arranged in such a way one could not be sure she actually wore them, or if they grew out of her. She had an autumnal look to her, with warm yellows and red seeping through the deep greens of her body and equipment.

Luckily, not autumnal or dark green enough to appear to be of the Nightmare Court. That would just have capped off Tivi's day nicely. But it seemed that fate had some mercy on her and Xander this time. Either way, the sylvari looked far too cheerful to be a sadistic nutcase.

"Hello!" she said. "My name is Rubusa. Are you going to the Priory camp, you said?"

"Uh," Xander said. "Yes?"

"Wonderful!" Rubusa daintily stepped put of the mess of branches and roots. She wore shoes that looked like they were made of moss with vines growing out of them and wrapping around her legs, Tivi noted. What an intriguing design choice… "I was just heading that way myself. Oh!" She sniffed the air and tilted her head curiously.

Even though Xander started to protest that he didn't want to hear what she was about to say, the words faltered in hesitant fascination. Tivi too perked up, holding her breath expectantly. Just what… and how, anyway… err, maybe not something one wants to dig too deep into.

"How lovely, you smell just like honey and fresh grass," Rubusa said.

Xander and Tivi exchanged borderline disappointed looks.

"And bees!" the sylvari added.

There was a pause.

"Do bees really smell li–– ow!" Tivi started, but Xander shut her up by swatting her head.

"I dunno about this," he said with an annoyed growl making his voice reverberate through his chest. "Can you fight?"

"I'm a valiant!" Rubusa declared. She swept the huge leaves hanging/growing from her hips aside and revealed a pair of elaborate axes that looked more like flowers than actual weapons. Both the charr and the asura might have sneered had they not seen similar things in the past.

Good enough.

The next few minutes were spent with introductions and a very quick recap of the story Xander had already told Tivi. Rubusa said little during the explanation, only nodding at parts. Very soon however, her gaze began to wander in a way that made Xander uncomfortably shift his weight and finish up the tale as soon as he could.

The reports about sylvari not understanding the concept of shame obviously had merit, Tivi noted. She had a hard time to keep from snickering at Xander's fidgeting under the dainty salad lady's eyes though. Served him right for smacking her head.

… even though he must have been very careful when he did it, come to think of it, since it had not really hurt. He could be quite a gentlem––

"You can come along to the camp, but stop staring like that!" Xander finished off the story. Tivi heard part of that garbled, as she had gone to dunk her head in the stream again.

Rubusa blinked at him as if she had just woken up, and a dreamy look spread across her leafy face.

"Very well, but… what a lovely pattern," she remarked, studying the fur showing on Xander's arm. "It's just like the shadows of trees at dusk."

Xander buried his face in his hands. Or as well as a charr can do that, at least.

"Can't you two just stop breathing?" he groaned.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Rubusa said. "I tried once. It made me dizzy."

Xander parted two big fingers to stare at her blank, smiling expression, trying to gauge if she was serious. Tivi stopped wringing the water out of her pigtails to stare at Rubusa as well, likewise desperately searching for signs of a joke. But there was none. Feeling the beginning of a headache, she rubbed her forehead and stared down at the water sloshing past, glistening on the rocks in the dim sunlight. Very pretty, though not as shiny as the power lines and crystals buzzing in every corner of Rata Sum. Splashing and bubbling with the sparkles of sunlight bouncing on the reflective surfaces.

She could practically feel part of her mind getting up and going for a walk. It was a mental image she had dreamed up as a child when lamenting her inability to focus, which had stayed with her as she grew up. She imagined that if she just let her thoughts wander off into the distance, they would come back later with a fully developed idea. It worked sometimes.

At least, it helped her relax.

Having pushed away her ponderings, she decided to turn to more practical things again.

"What were you doing anyway, hiding out as a bush?" she asked Rubusa.

"Oh, I needed a nap after that battle back there," Rubusa replied, jabbing her thumb towards a not too distant clump of trees.

Tivi froze up, but Xander whirled in that direction and narrowed his eyes at the miniature forest.

"Battle?" he demanded.

"Oh yes, against some ogres. One got away though, so I thought I better rest up in case he came back with frie––"

"Tactical withdrawal. Now." With that, Xander tossed the protesting Tivi onto his back and dashed off, not even looking around to check if Rubusa was following.

But she did, keeping up surprisingly well. Tivi wasn't sure she was too fond of that, but then again, Xander was probably less happy than her. Though at least he didn't have to be tenderized against a running charr's back.

* * *

_One thing I really love about writing, and reading fanfic for video games is where you find ways to use the existing skills and spells with a twist, as you may have noticed :) I realized that many years ago when I read a really chilling Final Fantasy 7 or 8 story where the "Mute" spell, which in-game just stops characters and monsters from casting spells, was used by a murderer to stop his victims from screaming._

_Aaanyway…_

_Tropes I had in mind while writing this chapter:_

_Blessed with suck_

_And sorta something between "The ditz" and "Too dumb to live" for Rubusa, but as we'll see she actually fits better with a whole bunch of other tropes. _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three, Even the Humans Want Him

To the great relief of especially Xander and Tivi – Rubusa just jogged along at a merry pace – it was an uneventful trip to the Priory camp. They arrived quicker than expected because Xander refused to slow down, apart from to chow down some more food. Rubusa had luckily been able to share some more, filling out Tivi's last scraps.

The camp was a wonderful, wonderful sight after all that had happened. Too bad that the eerie purple of the Brand had ruined the view for hours before they actually got there.

The closer they got, the thicker the air felt. A burnt, metallic scent filled Tivi's nostrils. She would have been more uncomfortable about it if it had not overpowered the smells rising from Xander's body. It did not clear them out completely, but for the first time in hours she could actually think of something else than the charr's warm, solid back and the soft fur sticking out between the pieces of his armor. The fact that all that had seemed so very fascinating, even when every step he took jolted her against his back until her entire body hurt worse than that time when the aether-grade flux lines split and almost roasted her and everyone else in the room…

Rambling line of thought aside, it was rather disturbing to find the curse's power of distraction to be stronger than her acute discomfort. For every passing minute she could more clearly see why Xander had decided that he was a liability to his warband.

They crested the final cracked hill and gazed down the road at the Priory camp. The tents and banners swayed peacefully, but sickly purple dust blew in with every gentle whisk of the wind. Several people were sitting about polishing weapons and tools – and even from this distance the three travelers could see lavender pockmarks on the metal. The Branded corruption ate its way onto everything it could, making rust and mold seem like fine sand in compare.

Xander raised his hands and waved at the guards at the edge of the camp. The norn and charr relaxed a little at the greeting, but did not move their hands too far from their weapons. It would be a rare place in Tyria where one accepted a stranger without question.

A rare place, or maybe the Grove.

Tivi might have spaced off for a moment, thinking about her visit to that beautiful, dizzying, illogical place, had Xander not shook her off his back.

"This is safe enough for your tests," he said, folding his arms as he turned to look at Tivi.

"Oh, can I help?" Rubusa asked.

Xander pointed down at the camp.

"I want to get going quick, to the stronghold on the other side," he said. "Go ask if the Priory have any intel to share."

Pause.

"If there's anything we should know before we continue," Xander clarified, biting back a sigh with visible effort.

He and Tivi gazed after Rubusa as she cheerfully ran down to the camp.

"Nobody can be that dumb." Tivi commented, though with little hope. "Obfuscating…?" She trailed off as she looked up, and caught Xander looking thoughtfully at the blasted landscape ahead. "I don't think we can sneak through that without her seeing us."

Xander looked for another moment, but the way they wanted to go was pretty much flattened. The area just below the camp held the remains of what had once been some kind of temple, Tivi assumed. But whatever purpose it had used to serve, like everything else in the dragon's path it had been torn apart by Kralkatorrik's flight. The residue magic still affected the marble rocks, causing some of them to hang frozen in the air. Statues of the humans' gods leaned this and that way, twisted into barely recognizable, otherworldly forms.

And amongst the rubble translucent, human shapes moved aimlessly – but if they saw something, anything they thought was an enemy, the ghosts would not hesitate to attack.

Even though the unspoken but apparent plan would obviously be to take a long, long way around that area, there was little to hide behind if you wanted to lose a stupid plant person along the way. Any one of the rocks in the blasted canyon looked suspiciously alive.

With a resigned grunt, Xander nodded.

"Well, she might make a good distraction if we need it…" he muttered.

"Yes, right," Tivi said and brushed herself off with as much dignity as she could. That done, she pulled her backpack off and sat it on the ground in front of her. "Regardless, let me get my testing equipment…"

She trailed off when she flipped open the side pocket of the pack and a cloud of smoke gushed out into her face. Coughing, she waved the stinging smoke aside and squinted through her stinging tears into the bag. All there was inside of it was a mess of broken glass and dissolving tools amongst a bubbly chemical cocktail.

For a second she was paralyzed. Then she squeaked and frantically closed the pocket, and proceeded to rip open every other part of the backpack and toss the contents out of it. To her relief, it turned out that the improvised alchemy experiment had not managed to eat through the cloth or the spells inside the backpack.

"So that's why the price was low," she said with a huff, glaring at the backpack while she absently tossed the last few items onto the pile beside her. "Cheapskates using defective runes of holding!"

She turned to look at the pile, finding that it was almost as tall as she was. Xander studied at it with a suspicious look, probably thinking back to the food Tivi had given him before – and making the connection that the jerky had shared a portable subspace with some of those things.

"Alright," Tivi muttered and made an attempt to inconspicuously snatch up some of the more unsightly random crap and drop them back into the pack. "Maybe not completely defective." She cleared her throat. "I fear we might have to put off performing the tests to evaluate the nature of your curse. There is a dismally low probability that the Priory researchers would have the necessary tools."

"Great."

He said nothing else, but stayed at her side as she struggled to minimize the damage. After a bit of searching through the heap she had produced she found her collection of neutralizing solvents intact. The ruined pocket she ripped off and emptied on the ground, then dumped the solvents the mess until it stopped trying to eat its way into the center of the planet (where it might possibly have hit Primordus and given him enough of a back itch to finally break through the surface and cause enough destruction to make Jormag raise his/her eyebrows).

Xander seemed to be in no hurry to go to the camp, just standing there lost in his own grumpy thoughts until Tivi had finished cleaning up and repacking her items.

Silently, they headed down the hill, neither in a very good mood. Tivi knew she ought to say something hopeful, but she felt too guilty about not being able to test Xander. And all her experiments, most that had been sitting there stewing and developing so nicely… well okay, she had not cared that much about most of them, but most of those test tubes and pliers that had turned into a slippery goo had been gifts. They had emotional value, and she was an emotional asura.

The guards by the edge of the camp greeted them warily. Unsurprising, considering that the irritated air around the two travelers seemed thick enough to cut with a knife. Tivi was not so far into her own sour world that she did not pick up on this, and using all her willpower she managed to speak a shrill but polite greeting and question about where their sylvari friend had gone. They were pointed towards a tent.

The wind blew in from the Brand, carrying with it the burnt scent of the blasted area. That could not possibly be healthy in the long run. Yet it had some use, at least for the moment. Tivi heard a small breath escape Xander, a tiny, almost hidden sound of relief. Nobody they walked past made a single comment about smelling anything good.

Passing the priory members, Tivi noticed that they seemed unusually peppy. Everything seemed to do its hardest to raise her spirits, but it needed a final push. That was delivered by Rubusa, of all people.

The sylvari stood in the warm darkness of the tent together with a human man wearing the Priory's robes. He was handing her several packs of what looked like wrapped up dried meat, which she put in her backpack.

"They had a good hunt a couple of days ago and received supplies this morning," Rubusa said, smiling at her companions. "They feel safe enough to sell us some food."

Such a simple thing. But tension flowed out of Tivi's limbs, and her growing headache subsided. Any camp out in dangerous areas like this needed to guard their supplies, and travelers could seldom to never hope to buy food. It had been a problem she had not wanted to consider, since she had given much of what she'd had left to Xander earlier, and he had none at all after his imprisonment.

Tivi opened her mouth to speak her thanks, but faltered as an awfully familiar, chemical scent crept into her senses. With a sinking feeling she realized she could not hear the wind anymore.

The Priory scholar's nostrils flared.

"Oh…" He took in an unsteady breath and moisture glistened in his eyes.

"Eh, are you alright?" Tivi asked. This was new. The smell curse was stupid and embarrassing, she could not see why it would make somebody cry.

"I'm sorry," the man said. He wiped his eyes and looked between Tivi and Rubusa. "It's just… is either of you wearing night lily perfume?"

Xander slumped.

"Oh, it's probably just me," Rubusa said, smiling brightly. As she shook her head, a dusting of pollen swirled up and danced through the rays of sunlight. Her quick save earned her strange looks from both of her companions.

"Yes, I suppose so." The explorer gave her the shadow of a smile. "It smells just like what my dear departed wife always used."

Without a word Xander walked out of the tent.

Thinking fast, Tivi dragged Rubusa towards the exit so that the man would not realize that the sweet smell had in fact not come from the sylvari. Rubusa offered a gentle apology for dredging up painful memories, and the man had just enough time to say it was not her fault. Then they were out of sight, and smelling range.

Tivi sighed with relief and looked around for Xander.

He was nowhere to be seen, but finding him was easy enough. They only had to listen for the quick succession of thuds, from a head being repeatedly smacked into a tree.

Despite Tivi's best efforts to get them to sod off, there was quite a crowd staring at Xander by the time he stopped beating himself up. It just figured that the Priory's people didn't get to see many strange things that were actually amusing, as opposed to life threatening. Even if they didn't know what was going on, they were reluctant to stop watching.

At least the wind had decided to be merciful and returned anew. It flowed in with a new load of Branded dust, drowning out Xander's curse so that he was spared comments for at least the moment.

He eventually stopped trying to beat the frustration out of his brain and turned around, focusing a slightly unsteady glare at Tivi and Rubusa. Silently daring them to say anything.

"Places to go. Experiments to conduct." Tivi spoke as neutrally as she could, pointing sideways towards the Brand.

Xander took in a deep breath and wobbled off in that direction.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Rubusa asked as the two ladies followed Xander.

"Rrrgh," he responded.

They had not gotten far before a small groan escaped Xander and his unsteady steps quickened. Tivi understood why a second later when she realized the wind was slowing. It seemed to be in a playful mood indeed.

Behind them, a norn wondered who was hogging mead. An asura informed him that he obviously could not recognize the sent of camphor if it smacked him in the face.

Then a human female said, in a worried tone as she took in quick, suspicious breaths through her nose:

"Is that chloroform?" She noticed the three travelers stopping and staring at her. "What?"

Tivi opened her mouth, closed it, then shook her head and backed away quickly, urging her allies along.

"I'm jumping off a cliff before I go to Divinity's Reach with this," Xander growled as they climbed the rocks down to the Brand.

"It would probably be safer…" Tivi muttered.

"I never imagined people had such varied taste!" Rubusa commented. Xander moved as to punch her, but stopped himself and left it at a snarl.

The sun was already sinking and painted the sky a bright yellow and magnificent orange. At least Tivi assumed it was so, but the purplish air of the Brand veiled the evening skies. Her whole body ached after the last few hours' adventures, but she gritted her teeth and called upon the power of water to rejuvenate her. It helped a little bit – cooling streams flowed through her body by the power of her mind, but there was only so much she could do.

If she slowed down, though, Xander would get the bright idea to carry her around again, and that was one method of transportation she was in no rush to use again. So she forced her short little legs to move, focusing her will on the howling wind and the power it might grant. Electricity sparkled at her fingertips, and her feet felt lighter as had she been running on air.

If that boorish Bookah of a charr even tried to reach for her neck to hoist her onto his back again, he'd get a fistful of lightning.

It took a moment longer before she realized that Kralkatorrik's power had completely washed away the unwanted attraction she had felt for Xander. She would have cheered, if the thought had not struck her that the three of them made a rotten team. Rubusa was oblivious to how little respect she earned from the other two, and without the curse messing with her mind Tivi felt no sympathy for Xander at the moment. All he did was snarl and throw her around. Alright, so he had saved her from the separatists, but he would not have escaped without her either. They were even, and she wasn't sure she liked him enough to actually care.

That was a pretty depressing thought.

"Just a little further," Xander grunted. "We should be able to rest safely in the stronghold."

Tivi glanced at him, wondering if he had noticed her strained breath. But he just sounded annoyed. She gazed ahead, through the purple haze. At the edge of the cliff sat a metallic, bluntly shaped structure. It lacked all grace and any kind of calculated esthetics, but the mere chance that it might offer a safe night's sleep made it beautiful to her eyes.

It would have been so much better if she had been able to do her tests now, when the Brand overpowered the curse. As soon as they left it behind, everything that breathed around Xander would ask him stupid questions again. And she and Rubusa would have to deal with the invasive attraction again, despite every shred of logic fighting against it.

Wasn't there anything that could be done? Tivi scowled. Well, they had already been over the breathing issue.

Stop breathing…

The wandering idea, from back when they first met Rubusa, returned home.

"I got it!" she yelped.

"Burn you, not so loud!" Xander hissed. "Do you want to bring the whole landscape down on us?"

But Tivi wasn't listening. She grinned up at Rubusa over her shoulder, and eagerly said:

"The quandary we're in has a possible solution."

The confused look she got back only made her grin wider. It felt good to be a (semi-)genius.

* * *

_Yeah, as for tropes, this chapter only has more Blessed with Suck, and a bit of Teeth-Clenched Teamwork and The Friend Nobody Likes. Let's see if we can get something more substantial next time. How about some good old fashioned Mood Whiplash? Muhahahaha…_


End file.
